It’s Nowruz 2011! That’s the first day of spring, which is the first of the year on the Iranian calendar. It’s often called Persian New Year.
The great thing about New Year celebrations is that they remind us that we can start all over again, really anytime we want. While some might believe that the moon* is a contributing factor in how we behave (I subscribe to that notion a bit) or we need a 1st of the year for motivation, it’s quite acceptable to start a new beginning at any time. You just have to want it badly enough (I’ll have some tools to share via Ray Dalio in the coming weeks).
For those of you who aren’t buying my start over at any time philosophy and you didn’t get your resolutions together in time for Nowruz, don’t worry, Assyrian New Year is on April 1.
*Add things into one’s life starting on the New Moon, go out and celebrate during the Full Moon, and finally throw out crap and finish up projects as the full moon wanes.
A friend of mine had a birthday party last night at a New York gay institute called Rawhide. It’s a leather bar stuck in a time before Chelsea became gentrified. Most of New York’s gay elite (if something like that even exists) wouldn’t dream of drinking or using the bathroom here.
I, on the other hand, have few qualms about going anywhere with the exception of most chain stores. So I went and had fun. The best way to tackle life, especially when one like myself is trying to become resurrected, or even erected for that matter, is to say Yes and put a smile on your face and experience.
Some observations based on my experience:
- I’m uncomfortable wearing certain types of clothing, like leather pants and t-shirts that say oink, especially when passersby outside the bar snicker. One doesn’t have to wear leather attire to go into a leather bar, unless it’s Code Night*. In that case, you should probably be into things like harnesses and fisting.
- The Gay Culture, which I have mostly a hard time swallowing, even swirling around in my mouth and spitting, as a culture, focuses most of its energy on the superficial. I’m beginning to realize that I’ve been privy to that stereotype and using my pretty face and my sexual exploits as a crutch. It’s time to use the enticement, but to back it up with something substantial besides my booty.
- If someone offers you a bag of cocaine either give it back or put it in your pocket immediately. If you ponder too long, you’re apt to be thrown out into the cold night without a jacket.
- If a go-go boy is hanging all over you, and you aren’t giving him any money, he’s probably picking your wallet.
*Code Night is when you must wear leather gear, like leather harnesses, pants, jock straps, vests, t-shirts, etc.
I just had a brief coffee* date with a bigwig at Deutsche Bank. There was something about him that turned me on, especially at the end, after we had an easy chat, something about the way he looked at me when I said, “We should have dinner when you get back from your trip.”
During the course of our meeting he didn’t make me doubt my direction in life, but he did make me realize that this next part of my life will take some hard work. Not that I want to become a bigwig at the investment bank where I work to support myself. I just want to have a better work ethic with my writing, my art, myself. If I’d done that a long time ago I probably wouldn’t be working for The Man.
I am an unpublished writer. Most of my writing energy has been spent on my first novel, which has taken me entirely too long. I’m working on Draft 6 now. Although I say this after as I work on every draft, it will be the last. I’m not even certain it’s publishable at this point. It’s become like Frankenstein’s monster.
Should I have called this blog “My Life as a Blog” or “My Blog as a Fake”?
A special shout out to Peter Carey.
One last thing, enjoy the super moon tonight.
*we had coffee at Think Cafe on Bowery and Bleecker: free trade shade grown organic and probably the best coffee I’ve ever had in my life.
Artist and good friend Henry Rollins stated brilliantly, “I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.”
I think I’ve done a fairly good job at distinguishing myself from most people, so much so that I find myself in a very small world. Not that I mind having the most dear and loyal friends, but I’ve always wanted to give back in some way, to expand my impact beyond my small circle of friends and family. To do this, it’s time to mold myself into something different. It’s time for a reinvention.
Because I don’t have someone like Circe Berman or Sydney Fife* around to manipulate my stone, this blog will act as my engineer, my sounding board, my psychotherapist. I, in turn, will cut her (could be a him in the coming months . . . or a herm) stone and create the look and feel and tone of this settlement, which I hope will expand into a colony and then something much bigger. It is my wish that she constantly change and grow, some times adapting, other times forcing others to adapt, but mostly just being.
The result I hope will be totally meta. Its creation will be the thing.
This is the first posting.
*Circe Berman and Sydney Fife are characters in the Kurt Vonnegut novel “Bluebeard” and the movie “I Love You, Man,” respectively. Each in their own way, Circe and Sydney help the protagonists become the best versions of themselves.